What Would Jesus Say?

editors note: the following post is from "Getting Fired For The Glory of God" Collected Words of Mike Yaconelli for Youth Workers. I read this article this morning and thought it was timely - originally published in Jan 2000 - interesting to see where we are today, ten years later, enjoy!

WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?

Me: "Hey, Jesus!"

Jesus: "Hey."

Me: "I'm a youth worker."

Jesus: "I know. I'm Jesus - remember?"

Me: " Okay. Okay. But...um...why did you make me do youth ministry?"

Jesus: "I didn't 'make' you do youth ministry; I called you."

Me: "Yeah, right. Called might as well be the same as made. I mean, you made it so I wouldn't be happy doing anything else. You ruined all the other options, Jesus."

Jesus: "You're welcome."

Me: (sigh) "Here's the deal: If you wanted me to do this youth worker thing, then you must believe youth ministry is pretty important."

Jesus: "I do."

Me: "Well, how come the adults in church don't believe it's that important? And have you looked at the pay scale lately? We're always at the bottom of the priority list."

Jesus: "I can relate to that."

Me: "And all they want me to be is a recreation director. You know...plan nice activities and keep their kids from drinking, doing drugs, and getting pregnant.

Jesus: "They believe youth ministry is about making young people nice?"

Me: "Well, yeah, I mean, they believe you're a nice guy and everything - and they want their kids to be like you.

Jesus: "Look, these parents believe I'm a nice idea. They believe I care about what they care about. They want me to be an enhancement to their lifestyles - and they don't want me making their kids uncomfortable with their lifestyles. Basically, they believe I died on a cross to help their kids get good SAT scores, be captains of football teams and cheer-leading squads, and have nice lives. They believe I want to help their children become good Americans. Yuck!"

Me: "I didn't think Jesus would say 'Yuck!'"

Jesus: "It's a Greek word."

Me: "Oh. But aren't Christian's supposed to be nice?"

Jesus: "You believe I died on a cross to make people nice? You believe I want to be relegated to the status of motivational speaker? Listen, I don't even like football, and I definitely don't like nice people. Look at my disciples! Talk about loud, obnoxious, rude, and flaky - hey, these guys were anything but nice. Remember when 'Mr. Nice Guy' John wanted me to send fire down on a little Samaritan village because they wouldn't let us stay for the night?
"Start telling parents their sons and daughters should take a year after high school and do missions work in South Africa, and see how long you last. Tell them it isn't a good decision to make their kids go to soccer camp instead of church camp, and see how supportive they'll be. Truth is, I came to ruin people's lives - just like I ruined yours. I came to turn people's lives upside down. Remember all that stuff I said about being a sword and turning parents against children? I wasn't kidding."

Me: "But if I let you start ruining kid's lives, we might lose some of them."

Jesus: "Good."

Me: "How can you say 'good'?! Look, I'm beginning to wonder if you're really Jesus."

Jesus: "Why?"

Me: "Why? Because everybody knows youth ministry is about reaching as many students as possible. We've been trying to reach every student for Christ by the year 2000! I mean, this year we're going to have rallies and crusades nationwide with more than 100,000 kids at each of them. We're going to link the entire world by satellite. We're going to have the largest crowds ever!"

Jesus: "I don't like crowds."

Me: "You don't like crowds?!? What are you talking about?!"

Jesus: "I don't like crowds. Go back and read my story. Yes, I had crowds from time to time, but most of the people in them just wanted more wine, food, and power. Then - when I didn't give them what they wanted - they killed me. Nope. I don't like crowds. Besides, my best work was done one-on-one. You know...the woman at the well, the crazy guy, the blind man, the woman caught in adultery. That's when I did my best stuff."

Me: "But...um...that isn't very efficient."

Jesus: "I know. I don't believe in efficiency."

Me: "What?!?"

Jesus: "Let me put it this way: I believe in making disciples one at a time. Very slow stuff."

Me: "But Jesus, I thought you were into 'fast.'"

Jesus: "Nope, I'm about slow. And small."

Me: "Oh, man. If I keep listening to you, I'm going to be fired!"

Jesus: "Good for you."

Me: "Good for me?!? Uh, Jesus, it's not that easy!"

Jesus: "I didn't say it would be easy. I said it would be hard."

Me: "But hard is...well...hard"

Jesus: "Tell me about it."